MikaLucas78

I'm actually okay for right now, darling But yet, you're not anywhere to be found... My arms are free from scars, You should be proud! But I'll let this musik play out in my head Let the butterfly tattoos stay a while Drop the blade Remember the girl with the short shorts The scar free arms The provocative neckline With the bass forever in her heart? The Russian accent, The Swedish words written on her arms for a while Japanese across her walls? Yeah, you need to be her again. No more being depressed Or them calling you "emo" I don't want you to hide your arms anymore either, babe. Go ahead, show the world Yeah, you made some mistakes

Maybe it's for the better Everyone always leaves me Even my internet friends have left me. First it was you, you're the one who made me this way Happiest girl in the world, Until you threw that all away. Left me in the cold. Expecting me to return to you, Like a lost puppy Who didn't know any better But no, now I'm fucking broken Again. She doesn't care enough to come to school To help me in this mountain I've been trying to climb lately I always help you with your problems, Don't you think I have mine? You see me struggling to survive But yet, you turn the other way? I tell you, I need you here But no, you're too selfish to care. Still.

Do you think this is some sort of game? Fresh cuts on your arm Just because I refuse to stop "It helped Sage." Well shit, maybe it did. But you should be glad you don't have to And you don't have a fucking reason to! You think that my arm is covered in scars because I think they're cool? If I wanted to stop, I would have! I do this to stay alive! You think this is a fashion statement? "Oh, hey guys, I got a new scar last night" Are you fucking kidding me? Go to hell. Stop holding your arm like you need to be babied Asking the world for attention. If sympathy's what you want from me, Try somewhere else, kid.

I don't know what to do. Are you confused? Maybe I'm overreacting It's happening again Never again I promised myself Learning from the past's mistakes Or just reliving them over again? Vain whenever I'm around you Everyone can see it Without you even having a clue Is it mutual? Though dammnit this was supposed to be platonic Hell, is this even true? You've been there for me when he called it quits Over and over again Until the very end. Righteously I say, it's simply platonic It's just because I'm rebounding? Guessing this is what I'm supposed to do next? Hoping that the next time will be better Take your time ? I do

Just be friends you said It's not your fault you said Remember when you said you loved me? When you said you don't want to leave me? I should have known it from the start When you told no one about us It was like I was all alone, you know that?! But damn it, I stayed Through your bullshit and mood swings Sarcastic remarks You ask me who you love You don't know, no do you? You said 'i'm sorry' Are you? How the hell do you expect me To believe you this time Do you even know how much you hurt me?! I'm trying to let this go But these feelings... They come back At every little memory.. Baby girl, you said I love you, you

Darling, pass the revolver My time is running out 1/5 chance of this I'm up for it Just close your eyes,take a breath, count to three This is what I've been waiting for Is it not? To finally end this torture? Start it all over again? I lift it up to my head One. Two.. Three... I remain a contestant in this sick game It's either you or me this time, baby Why aren't you hesitating? You pull the trigger without regret or hesitation Eyes open Like you've done this before He's here So he must have won millions of times Fearless, or just lucky? I didn't even say goodbye to anyone All they know is I'm alone with you I feel

You see the girl with the choker over there? She actually doesn't mind the X's on the back of her hand The habitual name written on her wrist Discoloration from the eraser challenge Scars from the days she spent in darkness How stubborn are the scars, that they won't fade away Or is that a sign that these are better days? A simple yet significant memory. But now, she enjoys the pain The suffering, fear, the anxiety She can't ignore the fact that She misses those days. The pain in her wrist from being craned over the laptop for hours, the constant heartache caused by them Loneliness caused by my sheepishness She now noticed

I don't understand why I can get over this It's just like 2009 again. Except now the scars I have are self inflicted And I refuse to be left alone Without some sort of ambiance in the background Now I've been to hell and back Sat in the darkness with myself and I Back then, My face was bright and babyish but now, I've seen the worst He knows I exist now Be proud of me. I'm still getting high honor roll But that's only after I've tried to overdose Isn't it sad how Your perfections and intelligence Is the reason why I'm in this mess? If you didn't care in the first place, They wouldn't blame you. Why didn't you? But it's

I cried when I put my dolls away for good. Watched in horror as my closet gradually turned all black. Evolved from EDM to Metalcore The writing on my hands became less for remembering things And more for the art The light seems too bright People need to leave me alone. I honestly don't care anymore. I can fail, whatever. While the me from a year ago would shun me. But I'll fake a smile So he'll stay a while Keep my ponies close to my heart. Never going to abandon them.. I hope. I've given up on my dreams. He is the only hope I have left. I can't take this anymore.